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How to be happy?!
- First of all, be realistic. Nobody is happy all of the time and it is perfectly normal to have variations in moods and feelings from day to day, month to month, and even year to year. According to a study based on data from the British Household Panel Survey, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up until they peak in one’s early 70s. So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come. Doesn’t that make you happier? At any time and at any age, though, it is possible to feel happier than you have been and here are some ideas for you to consider.
- Most fundamentally, recognize that happiness is a state of mind and not something which can be defined objectively. You can change your state of mind in many ways including these suggestions.
- Perhaps above all, be as healthy as you can. Nothing is more valuable than your health and little is more likely to make you unhappy than ill-health.
- More importantly than anything else, if you can live with a partner whom you love and respect and who feels the same about you. Kiss and cuddle and compliment often and regularly buy unexpected little gifts. Share your triumphs and your troubles. Evidence shows that a good relationship will not only make you happier; it will enable you to live longer.
- When you’re old enough and in a steady relationship, has a son or a daughter. Tell them often how much you love and admire him/her and do anything to help him/her. If you don’t have a child, ‘borrow’ one – spend time with a nephew or niece or a friend’s son or daughter or – when you’re older – your grandson or granddaughter. Children really do bring joy.
- Keep in close touch with relatives and a small circle of friends. You can’t beat their love and support. Don’t be afraid to admit when you’re down and need a lift. Don’t expect them to be mind readers – say how you feel and what you need.
- Conversely, if there’s a person in your life who is a negative influence and who is dragging you down in some way, don’t be afraid to remove such a person from your life.
- Smile a lot. Smiles make you miles better – and you smiling will make others smile. As Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (1772-1810) put it: “Always wear a smile. The gift of life will then be yours to give.”
- Say what you mean and mean what you say. Honesty really is the best policy.
- Be politely assertive. Say how you feel and explain what you want. Friends and colleagues can’t be mind readers.
- Get things off your chest. If there’s something you’ve been wanting to say to a partner, a relative, a friend or a colleague, say it either orally or in writing – don’t let it wait or fester.
- Give lots of compliments. You will make others feel good about themselves and find that this gives you pleasure too.
- Give small gifts to your friends. To give is even more pleasurable than to receive. Or, as the social anthropologist Marshall Sahlins, puts it: “Gifts make friends and friends make gifts.”
- However, if you try out all these suggestions and you’re still not happier, you’re either an android or an alien. In the former case, see an electronics engineer – or watch “Blade Runner” In the latter case, go home to your own planet and tell your people that we humans will survive.